Successful marriage, the golden words perhaps every married couple seeks to attain. Is it even a reality? Can there be such a thing as a fully successful marriage? Yes and yes! The thing is our ideals of a successful marriage need to become more flexible. Just because you have occasional fights or arguments, disagreements or need some space away from each other does not refer to a failed or a “compromising” marriage.
A successful marriage is full of flaws, downsides and moments of unhappiness. These are, as a wise man would say, the salt of life. Without a touch of bitterness, you wouldn’t fully be able to enjoy the blessing of sweetness. A successful marriage is one that is based on mutual love, respect and acceptance.
Sadly, in Pakistan, a woman is expected to make all the sacrifices to make a marriage happy and successful. She is expected to be the home builder and ensure her husband is happy with her at all times. As important as these things are, a woman is not the only one who can make the marriage work. Success is when everyone involved is equally happy and satisfied. So the wife needs all the same things that she gives.
If the husband too is willing to make compromises, take care of his wife’s wishes and ensure she is his top priority, chances of a successful marriage are high. Still not sure how this can be achieved? Let’s lay down some guidelines that will be practically helpful.
Acceptance is Love
What does acceptance means anyway? It means you get into the marriage with the inclination of agreeing to disagree, yet still holding on. Sounds too difficult? Here’s a breakdown:
Ideas and Opinions
You know that the person you marry will have their own individualistic ideas, opinions and thought patterns. These may not necessarily be in line with yours. Does this mean you two are incompatible? Well yes, if these are life altering matters like religion or children planning.
But if these ideas are simple approaches to life, then these are things you can both adjust to. Your wife doesn’t like getting up too early in the morning? That’s fine. Your husband does not want to hang out with your friends? That’s fine too. These are little compromises both husband and wife can make.
Let Them Be
Acceptance also means letting the person be themselves. Trying to change them to suit your ideals of perfection is plain wrong. Let them be and you will see how they are able to add so much positivity in your life. This is what love is all about. Bending a little to allow the other person some room for growth.
So don’t try to marry someone just to make them like you. You need another perspective to see how much more beautiful life can be. Live and love. Accept and bend. You’ll be surprised by how favorable the results are!
