How To Cope With The 10 Million Wedding Events That Aren’t Even Yours
This is your ultimate survival kit
The wedding season is upon us once again. And last year’s trend of holding 15 wedding functions, phased out between one to two months leading up to the actual thing, is far from gone. In fact, the recent big fat weddings of Nickyanka, Deepveer and of course the Ambanis (they’re too rich to even keep a hashtag, tbh cause naam hee kaafi hai) probably have the Pakistani elites jumping up and down.
Bad news for you if you’re in with the rich crowd cause when you’re invited to all 50 events, you at least have to pretend like you’re someone of value (the operative word being ‘pretend’ here). Anyhow, let’s get right down to how you can live through these events without actually dying.
1. Recycle old clothes
They have money, you don’t. So don’t get carried away and put that creativity to use. Cut up some old shadi clothes and recreate them in a way they look trendy. Come on, bring out that stylist that we know is there within you somewhere!
2. Carry headphones at all times
Wedding music can be super loud. And when you throw in all those concerts and everything on top, trust us you won’t be able to hear your boss calling out to you at work the next day. You don’t want to get fired, do you? Plus they’ll come in handy in drowning out the voices of all those aunties telling you you’re next.
3. Fall sick at every alternate event
Attending seven out of 14 events is still a better deal than attending all of them.
4. Move to another country
Start fresh in a place where no one knows you and hence no one invites you to weddings. Whatchu gonna do?
5. Get married yourself!
Better attend your own events than someone else’s, eh?