“Haw haye, talaq hogae?! Magr kiun, uska tou bacha bhi hy!!” “Her husband died? Damn, what will happen to the children?” These are only two of the phrases that single mothers in Pakistani society come across the instant they are left to take care of their little ones on their own. The stigma in itself is the biggest problem and challenge. Raising the children, their needs and wants, the mother’s restriction; all come later and are considered trivial.
There is nothing more wrong with a society then when it starts to bash its women for every single tragedy she faces. Sadly, Pakistani society comes at the top where women-bashing is concerned. Particularly if she is left a single parent due to any given events. Studies reveal that children who are raised by single parents are more likely to get involved in substance abuse, crime and more likely be depressed at some point in their lives.
Problem is, nobody is willing to listen or resolve issues that mothers of these children face. Here are some of the issues single moms go through, trying to raise their kids in a Pakistani society.
The Pressure for ‘Doosri Shaadi’ or Second Marriage
The worst thing that single mothers have to experience is the constant, nagging pressure of getting remarried. In most cases, girls are fearful of the idea because they are afraid of having to face rejection, not for themselves but for their precious children. Even though divorced or widowed women are accepted as wives, their mother status is considered with distaste. Most new husbands demand that women leave their kids if they want to start a new life.
Many suffering women come under this pressure and the kid(s) is left behind while she is married off to raise someone else’s children. Those who refuse have to face the wrath of their own family, friends as well as the society.
Monetary Concerns
Living alone while trying to raise kids is no easy task. Expenses in the world of today are exorbitant and many single mothers have a hard time supporting themselves and their little ones. Even when the father is alive, most times they refuse to pay or support their children.
Single mothers have to constantly keep in mind that they have not just mouths to feed but be there for their children as well. This means they have very few job opportunities that offer enough money, and if they pay more their timings are too long. Teaching, home tuitions and home businesses are the limited earning options women have. The government needs to invest more time and money into coming up with schemes that pay attention to single mothers and their livelihoods.
Becoming both Mom & Dad
A single mom doesn’t have to give the love and warmth a child gets from their mother, but also provide support, security and strength a father brings to the family. Becoming both a mother and father is one of the difficult things a single mother has to do for her young ones. Most kids are left with gaping holes in their personalities or become rebellious due to lack of a strict fatherly figure in their lives.
Point is, single mothers have it tough. It is high time that our society gives them the support and empathy they need to ensure their mental health, so they can live a stable life.
