10 Differences between Healthy and Unhealthy Relationship

Faryal Panhwar Jan 13 2015
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We often find ourselves overwhelmed (and not always positively) by our relationships. There are colorful, fun-filled days when we find ourselves wondering why we ever feel any negative emotion in the first place. But those happy moments seem to pass so quickly, don’t they? Meanwhile, feelings such as suspicion, doubt and emotional pain seem to overcome our relationships, and we pull our hair out trying to figure out where we’re going wrong!

Find out whether or not your relationship with your loved one is healthy or unhealthy.

1: Are you expecting too much?

A healthy relationship gives without expecting much in return. It is human nature to expect a return for every endeavor no matter how small. But in order to establish a strong relationship, it is essential to be selfless.

Just like it is in the nature of man to expect, it is human nature to err. In a healthy relationship, the main fore of operation is trust. You choose for the other person what you would choose for yourself-the best.

An unhealthy relationship demands a return for each little investment. Remember-that is a wrong approach and will leave you disappointed several times a day.

Learn to give freely.

2: Are you an acceptor or changer?

A healthy relationship is one in which you accept the other person for exactly who they are – there are no compromises there. An unhealthy one will focus all its energy into trying to change the other person based on the ideals fixed in one’s head. It is best to try not to take control in a relationship – if anything, the control is equally divided.

3: Don’t mock your partner’s weakness’

In a healthy relationship, the two must be each-others’ friends before anything else; and the one main rule of friendship is not to reveal friends’ secrets! Weaknesses are just as sacred as secrets. It is your utmost responsibility to go the extra mile to cover for your partners’ weakness’.

You will often come across people in a relationship ridiculing each other and it is not always funny. Don’t be that one individual in the relationship that treats your loved ones weaknesses as public displays.

4: Restore! Don’t take revenge!

They say that quarrels are a must for a healthy relationship. They certainly don’t mean revengeful fights manipulated by negative actions such as blaming and oppression.

In a healthy relationship, the best way to let your quarrels help you grow is by attempting to learn from those arguments and to learn from them and gain insight into how the other person can be served much better.

5: Honesty vs. Deception

It comes without saying that the foundation of a relationship cannot be based on lies. There is no substitute for honesty. In a healthy relationship, honesty forms the main core. In unhealthy relationships, there is always some deception. We might withhold secrets thinking that it really is for the other persons’ well-being, but it will only make your relationship a constant battle that you cannot win.

6: Forgive and Forget

Forgiveness is a divine attribute that helps form the basis of a true and pure relationship. In healthy relationship there are no garbage bags. No matter what the issue, once you have decided to move on with it and leave it behind, never bring it up again.

In unhealthy relationships you will often find people brining up past arguments. These are indicative of the resentment they have held on to.

7: Do you feel victimized?

A healthy relationship can best be described as two friends striving effortlessly to become even better friends. In an unhealthy one, one of the two often feels victimized. This may be due to a lack of friendship.

8: Are you living in a bubble?

Most people fail at relationships because they tend to idealize too much. In their minds, they are actually living in a parallel life in which everything is perfect. For these people it becomes hard to face the reality which is inevitable.

Don’t be that person and burst that bubble as soon as you can!

In a healthy relationship, the two people face reality for what it is which makes acceptance, forgiveness and moving on easier.

9: Are you the only one compromising?

In a healthy relationship, the sacrifices and compromises are two-sided. An unhealthy relationship, however, is one in which the sacrifice takes toll on one person which can be annoying.

10: Are you helping each other grow or vice-versa?

In a healthy relationship, your care for the other person is sincere, and hence you want to see them grow as an individual and help them with the process. In contrast to that, in an unhealthy one you will see constant mockery and degrading.

Faryal Panhwar

Faryal Panhwar:

Faryal is currently a second year M.B.B.S student at Ziauddin University. She is an active participate in the Model UN where her passion for debate has received her several delegate awards. Seeking to discover the writer in herself Faryal is now working as a freelance writer for HTV.