Just the idea of exes staying in touch is rather unsettling, isn’t it? Why would you want to remain friends with someone who broke your heart, destroyed your life, and took away your kids?
The whole thing is particularly uncomfortable for the new person who comes into the either ex’s life. Imagine having to deal with listening to their ex laugh together on phone, hanging out for a cup of tea or going over to dinner at their house. Uncomfortable, right? Are you currently dating or in a relationship with a guy/girl who is friends with their ex?
Here’s why you need to beware of them:
Your New Partner Might be a Manipulator!
This has actually been proven by a study conducted at Oakland University. If a person tries to remain friends with or runs after their ex, particularly when they have a new love interest, it could mean they have a dark, narcissistic, and manipulative personality.
Another study shows that the reason your partner or their ex wants to stay in touch is that they seek some kind of monetary, sexual or other favors. This could range from sentimental attachment to unextinguished love, money demands to sexual favors. All in all, whether it is money they demand or a listening ear, wanting to stay in touch with your ex is plain and simple ‘not the right thing’.
Rekindling the Old Flame
This is another reason why your partner may want to keep in touch with their ex. It could be that they are using you as bait to make their ex jealous in the hope of a rekindled relationship. This ultimately means that they are only using you as a tool for their ulterior motives. And once they achieve their purpose, they will discard you like old clothes!
Of course when kids are involved, remaining in touch becomes a necessity. But the relationship should end at the essential communication. It should not progress to attending parties together, sipping coffee on a cold night, and hugging each other in times of distress.
If that is happening, it is a clear signal that your relationship is not stable. Either talk out with them and clear things cleared up or leave, because chances of their changing are pretty low. You don’t want to be the third wheel or a redundant tool for their evil purposes.
Beware and watch out for the signs!