Taking care of parents: Are you doing it right?


They encouraged you, dressed you, lent a hand in your tough time, tied your hair, packed your bags, and healed you when you were low or bullied by people, helped you overcome school, and did almost everything for you.

Then at a point in life, you began to switch parts. All of a sudden, you are the guardian, you are in control, you are helping and you are their only supporter.

That’s how the cycle of life works.

In the race of growing up, we often forget that our parents are also growing older. People, who were supposed to be our backbones, suddenly need a shoulder to lean on. It won’t be wrong quoting that it’s the most incredible sight of life when it’s our time to payback for their love, care and ultimate support.

Our busy schedules and personal day-to-day activities make us indulge in our own world so much that we hardly get a chance to think about them.

I remember the time when my father used to come from work and greeted us in the warmest way, in spite of having a stressful day. He never included me or any of my siblings in his serious matters just because he wanted us to stay happy and care free.

Are we doing the same? Or do we even try doing half of what they did for us? Maybe most of us are doing well at their part but predominantly it’s a rare case.

Growing up is a piece of cake but its diligent when it comes to understand the consequences of it. Being the youngest of my family, I never thought of any trouble in my life because my father never indulged me in any circumstances no matter how hard the situation went; he always saved me or either my siblings played their role in protecting me through thick and thin.

For every child, it took a lot to sweep from the carefree period and settle into serious family matters. So, even I never took them grimly until I endured a certain change in father’s attitude. It was not a family strain or financial crisis but yes the age factor or I should call it a step towards role reversal.

In the ongoing journey of my life, he always seemed to be a friend to me but in recent years, he has become more like a child who insists me not to take so much work because then he would have no one to spend his time with.

Furthermore the strong-cum-polite man who used to get excited about my tours and travelling gets a little distraught whenever I ask him for it or for anything out of the box. Though he doesn’t always argue but it is often reflected from his gestures or the stress on his face.

It’s a natural phenomenon and happens so regularly in our general public that I feel it is more like a test for which we are rewarded according to our performance once we become parents.

Before getting into the debate of good or bad, it feels weird and wrong in some way or another when you assume responsibility of your own guardians. It is nonsensical. Not that you don’t love them. But that you just can’t shake the sense that the people who are supposed to be responsible for your well being are themselves thirsty for your love – like how once you were.

I know it feels strange, taking care of parents like this, but in between all of this you experience an unusual feeling when you, all of a sudden, grow responsible about everything. It is okay to feel weird at first but then it will start giving you a chance to share your energy with them, towards the toughest phase of their lives.

You become closer to them and start getting the real essence of life. Once they used to be energetic followed up by being responsible when they raise you and now they are sensitive, need some motivation in their life, most importantly need us in their hard time.

So, if you are an adult, go home today and tightly hug your parents. Taking care of parents is a huge responsibility. They would like nothing more.

About the author: Syeda Danya is a journalism student who loves to express her views through the written word.