Aahh, another bout of wedding season is upon us. All of my social media is infiltrated with happy couples looking lovingly at each other in their wedding outfits or dancing to the catchiest tunes of the month. All the hashtags these days are either weird couple names or something like ‘goals’ or ‘and they lived happily ever after’. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am just as excited about weddings as any other average Pakistani, but an excess of festivities make me feel nauseous.
Meeting the same people, looking at the same couple and eating almost the same food each and every day is quite tedious. Not to mention, others happiness is a good reminder of one’s awful ‘single-ness’. We have all read and talked about how weddings are the epitome of fun and excitement, especially in Pakistan, but today we shall look at the 4 things about the joyous occasion that can really get you tired.
1. The constant flow of distant relatives that you’ve never heard about in your life, take it upon themselves to remind you how much you’ve grown since the last time they saw you, which is pretty dumb since you don’t even remember the last meeting you had with them. You were probably baby, brainlessly drooling while they cooed over you. Flash forward to preset day, is it incredibly confusing why an obvious fact of life, such as ‘growth’ surprises them so much.
2. As a foodie, I pretty much look forward to wedding food more than the actual function. But disappointing as it may sound, the process of acquiring food is the most tedious and frustrating experience. All the shoving, pushing, stepping on toes and breaking lines and this is just to get to the salad bar. When the real food is served there is nothing short of tears, screaming and broken relationships. I might be exaggerating just the tinniest amount, but as a Pakistani, I have a right to dramatics…
3. Another thing that in theory sounds fantastic, but is actually quite tedious, is getting ready for a 5 day long wedding every single day. And this is Pakistan, mind you. We don’t do anything halfheartedly. This means 5 trips to the parlor to get hair and makeup for every single event, wearing clothes heavy enough to challenge the bride and all of this to meet the same exact people every day. Yay…
4. Now let’s be honest, we all know that a wedding is pretty much done being fun after the Mehindi. After that is just an awkward stretch with food and pictures. Especially at events like the reception, where the sole purpose is literally to come and eat. Not that anybody minds the free food, but after a while you just want to wash your face off of all the makeup, wear your most worn out pajamas , sit in front of the TV and not socialize for a year or two.
