Dear parents, here is how you can protect your children
Earthquakes, floods and other natural calamities don’t surprise me anymore. Unfortunately our sins are much more horrible than these disasters. The Kasur child abuse scandal has filled me with rue and abashment. I cannot shake off the idea that we, as a nation, have become lost every inch of humanity and have become numb to tragedy.
It’s another attack on our children – just like the one on December 16th, 2014. But this one is more brutal because the victims have to live with this trauma their entire life. Those innocent souls, who didn’t even know the meaning of life, were dragged towards horrifying realities and were cast in the shadow of despair… and what did we do? Nothing – absolutely nothing.
Like vultures, we devoured every news story, every TV package, every article that came our way about these children, and after satiating our inherent barbaric needs of feeding on controversy, we let it be and went about with our daily lives, happy under the delusion that our children would never face the same fate as the minors of Kasur.
Bashing the government and authorities on this subject would certainly be the desire of all of us but actually it’s futile. I know our hearts are filled with the same sentiments but we are speechless because it’s reckless, inhuman and unforgivable. This incident has proved that, sadly, we live in a dead society where there is no value of life, emotions and innocence.
But the point that should be focused on now, in order to improve our disastrous society, actually revolves around a simple question: why are our people turning out to be rapists and child molesters? Why perverted people like these, who captured videos of sexual harassment of little souls, are increasing day by day? Are we not aware of how inhumane these practices are? Or is there a problem in our teaching and preaching?
We teach our children how to eat properly, how to sit nicely, what to talk and what not to talk about but why do we lose interest in their upbringing when they turn 16 or I would say when they are near to be adults? Why they get themselves indulged in such activities, what attracts so much that they are ready to drag themselves down to such a low level?
We really need to understand that no matter if it is a girl or a boy, both should be brought up equally and according to the worst circumstances of our circle. All such incidents that we are facing today is because of the typical mind set of securing family pride in the society that has brought up this menace. Furthermore, this negative approach has turned down the victims from complaining about any such action to their parents because they know that it’s the so-called family pride that is important to them but not the self-confidence of their victim child.
It’s time to challenge that taboo and give confidence to the children of our society. As parents, we need to make them understand that their safety is of key importance to us, and everything else is secondary.
And how can parents do that? Well, here are a few pointers:
- Firstly build-up a trust-based relationship between yourself and your child. This is important because if they trust you, your children would come and tell you everything about their lives, and this would also include incidences where they are harassed or touched inappropriately. This would help you help them at an early age and build a sense of understanding.
- Secondly, know your children’s friends. Sexual abuse is not limited to adult perpetrators only. Often, older children or teenagers molest younger children for fun or when they are trying to experiment with their sexual health. No matter what, you should have an eye on your child’s friends and social circle including what games they prefer or what sort programs they like to watch.
- Never ever force your kids to visit any person he or she is not happy with as well as be perceptive if your kid turns out to be excessively attached to a specific grown-up.
- The best center for any sort of education is family so it’s good to properly teach your children about the right and only basic information about sex and private body part. Explain to them the difference between a good touch and a bad touch. Your children will eventually come to know about these things on their own too, through friends or the internet. It is better to talk to them about these beforehand.
It is the perfect time to make an example out of this Kasur case and ensure transparent and fast track trial of this case in judiciary. On the other hand, parliament should review the child abuse and rape laws, and make necessary amendments to stop any such disgusting incident again. We should not hesitate to be part of this change.
The government should hire psychologist for counseling of the victims as well as their families and any majors that can divert their minds from this horrific situation. As a society, we must hold their hands firm and support them in their struggle.
About the author: Sheharyar Ali is a student of the University of Karachi and he loves to write about everything.