After the terrible twos it is the troubling teens that become problematic for parents. Keep in mind that just like you managed to overcome the difficulties of earlier years, you are capable of handling a teenager as well. After all you are the parent and you yourself have been through this age. Teenage is believed to be the most difficult time of your child’s life. They are learning to become an adult and in doing so, push limits and boundaries testing your patience along the way.
What you need to realize is that this is common behavior. Every child goes through it and thinking that yours is the only negligent you know is a mistake. Don’t categorize your child as ‘special’ or more troublesome because that is only going to further push them away from you.
Not sure how you can deal with teenage troubles? Here are some major ones and what you can do to get through them without any permanent damage.
Dangerous Experimentation
This is inevitable. It is best that you accept it. Smoking, drugs, hanging out with the wrong crowd; this is something your kid cannot escape. What you can do is be open and non-judgmental. Let them smoke so that they get over the curiosity. Let them see hazards of the harmful habits. They will come out of this phase sooner if you remain loving instead of becoming too strict.
Bottom line: Give them advice but don’t push your opinion on them. Let them come to you for solutions.
Aggression and Mood Swings
Aggression and mood swings are unavoidable during teenage years. They are hormonal and will stay till your child turns 17-18. You may also have a child who is depressed.
Keep a close eye and seek a professional, if needed. You need to make sure that your kid is friends with you, because if not they will not want to talk about anything that is bothering them. One more thing, keep your own irritation and frustration at bay. Empathize with your child as much as you can.
Bottom line: The more you keep the communication channels open, the less likely your kid will distance themselves from you.
Excessive Use of Electronic Media
If your teen is doing good at school, gets most of the chores done and is participating in majority family events, let them use electronics. This of course does not mean that they should be on their phone all the time or lying in front of the TV the instant they get back from school. Set limits and keep a check on their laptops, phones and iPads.
Bottom line: Talk to them about cybercrime as well as harassment so that they are willing to confide in you whenever there is need.
Arguments
This is perhaps one of the hardest things to deal with as a parent. One day your sweet child is cuddling and playing with you and the next day it seems they are demanding that you buy them a car/let them use your car so that they can stay out late with friends. Heated debates and arguments at the smallest things become the norm at your house. Understand this, your child is growing up and learning about independence. They are also seeking other kids doing things differently and want the same level of freedom.
Bottom line: Instead of letting everything turn into a fight, learn to have discussions. Also let them have their way from time to time. If you only have the rule, “my way or the high way”, you will have a teen who is against you and resisting you at all times. Let a few things slide. If you allow them some space, they will be more willing to listen to you.
The teenage years pass and your child will come out independent, strong and considerate. Just keep your love and care intact and let them see you are with them through everything.