Let’s face depression

Mahvish Khan Sep 09 2015
depression

If we talk about the 21st century, life has become immensely busy and fast. Human beings have turned into machines; they need to work 24/7. In this fast-paced century, people just cannot meet their loved ones face-to-face every single day, so we have multiple other ways through which we communicate; calls, texts, social media, mobile apps and what not.

Through these media, especially social media, we get to know even the smallest of details of our loved ones; where they are, what they are doing, how they feel and even what they are eating.

It all sounds really exciting, doesn’t it? It seems like through these media of communication, one can never be alone, even if miles apart from friends and family. But the bitter truth is people are lonelier than ever! We get to know the tiniest of details about everyone, yes; but is it enough? Is it enough for people to see each other’s faces on a virtual screen and be happy with it? No, it’s not. And how do I know that? Because even in today’s fast-moving, global world, despite having every single comfort of communicating with others, people suffer from depression – people feel alone.

We don’t generally give importance to depression but the ones who suffer from it know how deadly this illness can be, how one goes through it and tries to fight it. Normal people just cannot understand how it feels to be alone, even when surrounded by millions. How it feels to struggle to be happy when everything around you only makes you sadder. How it feels when you want everyone to understand your condition when no one can. How it feels when you try to hide your tears and your depression by wearing fake smile all the time. How it feels when you feel alone, depressed and you really want someone’s shoulder to cry on but you get none. How it feels when you just cannot explain your condition in words and how it feels when you don’t want to face the world and for that you keep on lying on your bed in restless condition.

If I keep on talking about depression, I will end up writing a book. Depression, according to me, is the worst possible disease, where one looks absolutely perfect from outside and dies every second from inside. It’s like a continuous torture that one goes through. The worst part is hardly anyone understands your condition in our society due to lack of its awareness. If we tell anyone that the person is suffering from cancer people go crazy but if we tell anyone that the person is suffering from depression, instead of understanding and supporting the patient, people give long lectures which the sufferer is just unable to understand as the things are not in their hands.

I can write about depression, I can empathize with the sufferers as I myself have been a victim to it, but I fought it back. I came back to life through the support of my family and friends, which is the necessity of any the depressed patient. Don’t just give lectures, you need to hold their hands and give them surety that they are not alone!

I still remember the time when I used to meet people and laugh with them for hours and everyone used to think I am all fine but when I come back home I used to cry for hours and hours without knowing the reason. I remember that crucial time when I used to muster all the courage to share my condition with people as I really wanted someone at times to hold me and every single person with whom I shared was unable to understand me and how being ignored by my loved ones used to kill me. I start shivering when I remember the time when I used to go on my house roof and walk for many hours alone in the dark nights and that struggle which I had to do with  myself that “no, don’t give up, live!” That was probably the most difficult thing I used to do. I still get tears in my eyes when I remember how I used to fear nights because I just couldn’t sleep. Night time used to scare me. I used to cry on my pillow and pray for hours so that I might find an hour of sleep. I still get goose bumps when I think of time when I stopped myself from attempting suicide.

While depression patients look very normal, you cannot even think of what they are going through. They laugh with you, they talk to you but their blank eyes, eyes without life, tell you everything. They don’t need anything; all they need is someone who can stand with them 24/7. They need your support. They need to really feel that they are not alone. Their loved ones can understand them. This feeling of having a firm support from someone can bring them back to life.

Fighting with others is a very easy thing, trust me, but when you have to fight with your own self, when you want to be happy and just cannot find happiness in anything, when you want to dance and party but you just cannot do it and you are in continuous struggle with your own self is probably the most difficult thing in the world. Your love, care, attention and support can save someone from the torture, which the sufferer goes through every day.

Through the support of my friends and family, I am proud to say I am a depression survivor and for me depression survivors are no less than warriors.

Mahvish Khan

Mahvish Khan:

She is a teacher and an English grad from the University of Karachi. She likes the finer things in life.