Pakistani women and the woes of late marriages

Anam Shahid Sep 05 2015
marrige

Almost everyone gets married at least once in their lives. But a few are just lucky enough to reach this milestone a little earlier than some, while others are unfortunate to never reach it ever. However, marriages are never an easy achievement, as they require two eligible people who willingly want to spend the rest of their lives together under one roof.

Before marriage, many factors are considered when deciding on an agreement. Such factors can be age, career, health, looks and the likes. Not all people are grateful to have a person that is happily willing to marry them and spend their lives with. They seek more, and in that more they see the frame of details the person has to come with.

Age is a factor that can change the way marriages work. And late marriages are often a chord of contention in our society, for both genders.

Let’s start off with men. Men that end up marrying late probably can be justified, as men are considered to be the ‘breadwinner’ for the family. With the economic state throughout the world, especially in Pakistan, it is not easy to settle down with a good income, unless you are born with a silver spoon. Men usually work up to a stage where they want to satisfy themselves to the point where they think they can provide a good life for their family. But, in such cases, as they delay the time of their marriage, it becomes difficult for them to find a good girl. (Except if they end up with a greedy girl or family).

Since they have matured even to a greater age, they also wish to seek such maturity in their partner. Again, at this point where they seek maturity, they also wish that they get a trophy wife who is good looking and young, which isn’t entirely possible. Thus, for men, late marriages become a hassle on their own for them.

Women, on the other hand, face a whole different lot of issues with late marriages. In our society, the younger the girl, the prettier she is, the better she can be carved out for the perfect piece to fit in the family. This may be harsh and brutal, but I will not stand to deny this mentality that exists. People ignore that women can also face problems like men and have several justified reasons for not getting married at an early age.

There are households which have no sons and may have a retired or handicapped father who cannot provide for the family. So, the daughter rises to take care of the needs for her family. As she continues to do that for years, she does not feel obliged to be married off as she considers her first priority to put food on the table for her family. But, our society does not give recognition to this and instead degrades such lifestyle as women are only bred to be married off. Other situations can be about a girl’s look, weight or any other such problem which causes mayhem for her – because a girl needs to be perfect for the wedding, even if the guy is not.

I ask my readers, is this not discrimination?

I would also like to shed light on how society questions the girl very easily on the fact that she hasn’t been married, and becomes the talk of town which is not only immoral but disgraceful.

I agree that marriages should not happen so late, especially for women, in terms of their health-related issues – but to use other degrading reasons to malign their character is just wrong. There is a match for everyone in this world, and marriage is something that should take place at the right time and place; it just takes a better heart than an eye to see this.

Anam Shahid

Anam Shahid:

Anam has always been fond of writing and fiddling with words which allows her to not only express herself but pass them beyond. Graduating as a media student at ICMS, creativity comes to her pieces on its own.